21 years old, 0 pregnancies

26 Comments

Filed under 0 babies, 0 pregnancies, Born in the 1990's, Warrior

26 responses to “21 years old, 0 pregnancies

  1. Katie

    You have a GORGEOUS belly. Thanks for sharing it. ❤

  2. Drew

    i don’t think you should be telling people who are obese that they have gorgeous bellies. This person needs to change their lifestyle quickly not be congratulated on their illness.

  3. Katie

    Drew– think what you want. I deserve my own opinion though, too.

  4. Lakecia

    That’s disgusting.

  5. How horrifying disrespectful, and not at all within the spirit of the blog- to rip apart someone for not having a perfect societally-respected air brushed body.

    You go girl. Don’t feel bad, don’t listen to this crap, and don’t let anyone rip you apart. It takes alot of courage to make yourself this vulnerable, and I applaud your choice.Every one’s body is different, and should be respected for its distinct and unique proportions, curves, and lines. You are the thumbprint of God, and there is no one else on the planet with your body, heart, spirit, or soul. Stay beautiful, no matter what size or shape you are.

  6. Shelby

    You have no strech marks!! Im 20, 0 pregnancies and I got stretch marks red and as large as Texas going from a size 9 to a size 12!! Im soo jealous of you.

  7. James

    Everybody is beautiful for who they are. And self confidence is without question very important to mental health. Whoever posted this is very brave and is helping a lot of women out there who may feel ‘alone.’

    That said, I agree with Drew… Obese people should be proud of who they are and their accomplishments in life, but how do you respectfully tell someone that this isn’t okay? Obesity is a serious issue that should be addressed, for the good of us all, but mostly for the good of the person in question. Are we as a society really so PC that we can’t call it like it is?

    High blood pressure, stroke, high cholesterol, coronary artery disease, sleep apnea… The list goes on. All potential health issues that disproportionately affect obese individuals. Do we really want to subject others to these diseases because we’re too afraid of hurting feelings?

    Again, I have tremendous respect for the woman who posted her picture here. I don’t have the same courage, even though we are all anonymous. I hope the pictured woman can get motivated to lose some of the weight and live a long, healthy life.

    Sorry, but it has to said. This isn’t what a healthy body looks like.

  8. Amanda

    Hi James,

    To answer the question-

    “How do you respectfully tell someone that this isn’t okay?”

    I think I have a fair and pretty comprehensive answer.

    1.) Know this person well enough to EARN the right to speak into their lives.
    2.) Know this person well enough to know their eating habits, exercise habits, health concerns and needs, and their general well being.
    3.) Since most people, even some close friends don’t even know some of that information- be her Doctor. And after an examination of her condition- “call it like it is” and let her know about the real health concerns she faces.

    If you don’t live in any of those categories in her life- talking about her weight like she is “What’s wrong with this country” isn’t workng for the “good of us all.”- its dehumanizing her and stripping her of basical human dignities. It is two-dimensionalizing her, and making her an “issue”, not a “person.”

    PC- political correctness- has nothing to do with having enough self control to NOT tell a complete stranger how hideous and unhealthy their body is. We teach five year olds to monitor their mouths in the same way. If we are teaching our children to do this because we want them to learn how to be polite, gentle, hospitable, and to not address people based on what we first see- we should be doing it ourselves.

    Also- I would like to address this statement.

    “I hope the pictured woman can get motivated to lose some of the weight and live a long, healthy life.”

    I personally know plus size women who are vegan, gluten-free, have great portion control (more self control than the women I know with flat bellies), are highly motivated, generally happy women.

    Now- even if she really IS the exception to the rule-

    Do you think it is fair for my plus size vegan friend to be addressed the way Drew, and even you are addressing her? Like you know anything about her body, her habits, or her health?

    What if the girl pictured is already happy? How do you know she is not?
    How do you know she is not already healthy, or in the process of becoming healthy? Do you think you can tell simply by looking at her body?

    How do you know anything about her motivations? Or her dreams, needs, longings?

    You don’t know anything about her, and yet you are making assumptions- based on what?

    A stereotype.

    That plus size= unhealthy,depressed, lazy/unmotivated, and ill.

    I would ask you to look into the movement known as “Healthy at Every Size.” I’m by no means an expert, but its pretty fairly and quickly proven that these stereotypes are both flawed and unfair.

    If this is that important to you, that you need to address a complete stranger’s body to them without ever seeing their face- I would ask you to EARN the right to speak into it, by actually doing the work of being a friend, investing in her, and knowing her. If its not that worth it to you- I would consider, as a person who works to know themselves and the world around me in a honest way- what our motivations really are. If we want to speak for the good of all, without being will to do the work for the good of one? What’s are we really doing? And why are we really doing it?

    Again-
    First know this person. Anything else IS and will CONTINUE to be disrespectful, and dehumanizing.

  9. James

    Thanks Amanda for taking the time to respond.

    The major problem I have with this blog, and the “Healthy at Every Size” movement is that they don’t do anything to discourage obesity. Obesity IS a health issue. And it IS associated with several diseases that will lead to more difficult, shorter lives. These are just facts.

    I am not saying one should be ‘skinny.’ In fact, I’ve recently read many articles that say some body fat (within reason) is healthy, and that much of the population is too thin. But extremes never are healthy, whether it be too thin or too fat.

    I am worried accepting that “we’ve lost the war on obesity,” as “Healthy at Every Size” puts it, is going to negatively affect children and our society in the future. Should children be told this is normal? Just because something is common doesn’t make it okay.

    Over the last 50 years, our diets have grown in consumption of calories and fats. The rate of obesity has also tripled over the same period of time. Is this a coincidence? I understand genetics play a large role. I also understand that different income levels may limit access to healthy foods, mental health issues may cause eating disorders, different cultures with different foods is a factor, and certain diseases may cause weight gain. But this rule is simple: If you eat more calories than you burn, you will gain weight.

    Eat better, get active and you will be healthier. That is my opinion and message I’m trying to get out.

    I am sorry you find this disrespectful and dehumanizing, and I’m very sorry this is being discussed on an individuals post.

    But I am curious Amanda… What would you tell today’s youth with regards to obesity?

  10. CL in Ontario

    Excellent points brought up here…interesting to read both of your opinions.

  11. Amanda

    Hi James-

    As far as this blog- the focus of this blog is completely different than I think you might believe it is- its not to take issue with the human body- but to expose humanity as it is- not how it should be, or how it needs to change. The entire exercise is one in realism, and it is a daring attempt to be real without being judgemental. One of the reasons I enjoy reading. If you were a woman who had had a cesearean, or who had just had a baby, and were dealing with hormonal changes- wouldn’t you want to know that the women’s bodies are going to be a little rounder after childbirth- that sometimes, your shape is going to drastically change? What about stretch marks? What about cellulite? Does eveyrone have it? Hair on their bellies? deep belly buttons? outies? a low belly? a high belly?

    Wouldn’t you want to know that your body isn’t bizarre- just…diversely, distinctly human? That’s the point of this blog. Everyone looks funny without their clothes on, no matter who you are.

    In regards to the “Healthy At Every Size” movement- I wasn’t aware that they had made statements like that. Like I said- I am by no means an expert on the movement. I have never really memorized a mission statement- I’ve just really enjoyed the conversation.
    One thing that immediately occurs to me, as I read what you are saying is that I detest the phrase “War on obesity”- the very analogy that Healthy at Every Size is apparently using.
    That, in and of itself pits people against eachother, instead of coming together to find creative positive solutions. It emphasizes the conflict, not the work we’ll have to do to find a resolution. I don’t believe that having opposing opinions on the harmfulness of obesity, and how to deal with the issue in anyway means that two people like ourselves- with contrasting viewpoints- can’t be respectful to eachother and actually LISTEN. Warring very rarely resolves the dispute. Equitable and fair conversations and willingness to compromise is what resolve disputes.

    That being said, I would challenge the statement that Healthy At Every Size does “nothing to discourage obesity”

    I like the general ideas of Healthy at Every Size because it says “Get healthy – but stop looking at a pant size, stop looking in the mirror, stop trying to see yourself thinner. Here are some ways you can pursue healthy choices- and in the meanwhile, love who you are right now.”

    The idea is to stop villianizing obesity. To stop looking at the people around you and stereotyping them based on weight, or body shape. There are huge numbers of plus size people that are hardworking members of society -sometimes so hardworking and self sacrificing, that they don’t fight for their own health. Don’t you think they could benefit from knowing they don’t have to have a Kim Kardashian body to be treated with respect, and be worthy of love? That even if they don’t develop that kind of body- that they can still be healthy and balanced? Sometimes just having that knowledge is motivation enough to find the strength to take up that personal battle with the scale again.

    And now the question-What would I say to youth about obesity? When I think about doing this, I immediately find myself with some questions to ask you- am I talking to an individual in this scenario? Am I talking to a group? Or am I speaking to the nation as a whole? Also- have they been innundated with the rhetoric we hear in the media? Have they been immersed in a health/image obsessed culture? Have they taken health science classes since they were in elementary school, like I did?

    The youth of America are increasingly better informed than their predecessors about the obesity problem. They look at their tiny teenage waistlines, and their bottoms and their legs and their chins and they watch for any sign of proof that they might be part of the problem. If they are a plus size child (and often even when they are not), they look in the mirror and see a horrifying blob of something not worthy to be called beautiful,or worthy of love .You think I want to talk to those kids about something they’ve already heard, eviscerated themselves and other people with, and then discarded? Maybe on an individual level, I could make an impact- but on a grandscale….

    I would say nothing to the youth in general. There are other people out there beating that horse to death. Its not doing anything to fix the problem, or change the culture. But, if no one was saying anything- I might present the facts in a clear, nonjudgemental way- ALL the facts including a conversation about genetic predispositions, socio-economic struggles, and the presence of addictive and damaging additives, and then ask them to help me draw conclusions- what does this mean to our health? Our culture? What is the WRONG way to address it? What steps can we take to change? What is actually in an INDIVIDUAL’S control to change? What is in a GROUP’S control? What is in a SOCIETIE’S control? To differentiate those lines, and then help them take active steps to encourage positive change. That is the conversation I would have, if I had to have any at all.

    But just so we’re clear- the entire reason I even commented on this post was because the presence of a comment that was both untrue, and not only ineffective at helping- but potentially terribly effective at decimating a person’s heart ,and body image.Beauty has nothing to do with a bodie’s obesity or lack of obesity- whatever the conversation. More weight does NOT equal less beauty. And I think that teaching youth about THAT- the powerful harm they CAN do by inserting careless one liners about important issues like this into conversations about individuals- THAT is what I would work the most to teach AGAINST. Obesity is less of an issue than that . A fat person can be happy, can grow- can change the freaking world- if they know that at the root of them is a soul that is blooming. Our bodies gain and lose weight all the time. Fat can change. But the damage words can do -can sever our ties to hope that we can grow, and change, that we are important and have a meaningful impact on the world around us- that can take far longer to repair.

    Anyway, I’m no expert- but that is at the root of everything I have to say about the conversation. Being physically healthy is important, and we should focus on it in balance with the whole person. However, making it a gigantic hysterics-based issue that has news cameras zooming in of the fat lower half of someone’s belly is ridiculous and belittling to EVERYONE- not just fat people. Start with at the person to person level. Not the booming voice over the crowd, saying “Lose weight, or you’re the dregs of society, and a bad American.”

  12. Debbie

    A healthy body starts with a healthy mind. A healthy mind is one that knows that they are beautiful at any size, because then we can know that our value is inside and have self confidence and self-worth. Only then can you make having a physically healthy body a priority. It has to be in that order because women need to know they are worth it and their health matters.

    I`m not sure that`s too clear so I will say it another way: Women who value their whole selves and understand they are worth it, can permit themselves to be healthy and feel good about themselves. When you feel good about yourself, making choices for long term health is easy. When you are down on yourself it is incredibly difficult, because it`s hard to see the point.

    I think it`s hard for men to understand the highly coupled relationship between a woman`s entire self worth and her physical appearance. Because of that relationship a woman who is down on her appearance might have a hard time separating that from her whole self. The same self who is kind, loving, has a sense of humour and a myriad of other non-physical qualities that make people who they are. To compound this society is hard on people who are heavy and falsely associated a lot of negative character traits with obesity.

    This is why it`s important to let obese women know that they are beautiful people. And because they are.

  13. Jessica

    I don’t have the courage to post my picture and am thinner. I admire you.

    Lots of posts about if your body is right or wrong, of course all have our opinions but by the end of the day it’s your body and your decision. You know if you feel healthy or not, pretty or not, fit or not.

    If you want to change good for you, look for professional help do your best and you can accomplish anything. If not, good too, be confident because I assure you that you are already beautiful. Be whatever you want It’s your body and your decision and I won’t tell you how to live your life.

  14. Nell

    Stigmatizing people who are overweight or obese doesn’t actually make them any healthier. In fact, it exacerbates their problems. We have very good research on this.

  15. Thank you for pointing that out Nell. If they want to make a change in their lives, then they will make a change. But if they don’t then we just simply have to either accept or not accept people for who they are and what they are not. Each individual carries their own beauty through different qualities. No individual was born perfect. We all need a change in life in some area. Focus on your own. She is beautiful just the way she is. I am someone who currently is recovering from an eating disorder, therefore, Your response to James was very much needed, from where I stand.

  16. kee3

    Thank you for sharing. My stomach looks kinda like that but actually worse, with more hang and way more stretch marks and I would never have the courage to take a photo or talk about it. It takes a lot of guts (haha – pun not intended) and honestly helps the conversation we had above about body shape, what is healthy and what is not healthy. It also helps you reflect on your body and whether you are happy with it, whether people with similar bodies are happy with it – whether your stomach is big or large, the purpose of this blog is the same, to help acceptance/change.

  17. kee3

    I meant whether your stomach is big or small**

  18. Ari

    Get over yourselves. I’m obese & I love myself and my life (even though I was born with a rare & chronic disease that makes it close to impossible to be “skinny”) . If you don’t like what I have going in my life… SCREW YOU ! You aren’t God ! At the end , we all die anyway & will be remembered by our character NOT our weight.. I know I’ve never seen someone’s weight on their tombstone ONLY words reflecting who they were as a person. Everyone has bad habits & flaws just because ours can be seen on the outside doesn’t give you permission to speak foolery over MY life OR anyone else’s . Peace , Love , don’t be a judge ! ❤

  19. lnritter2014

    I strongly agree with both Drew and James. I don’t view it as inappropriate judgement of a stranger’s character based on their weight, they are simply warning of the very serious and very common health issues that accompany obesity. If you don’t like hearing unpleasant truths, perhaps you shouldn’t read the comments or any scientific research on the effects of obesity. I’m sorry that so many people are having negative reactions to people’s concerns about the health of others.

  20. Ase

    Oh hush. By a bigger casket & get over it!!! We are all going to die anyways & what makes one happy might not please another! Stop worrying about others weight and get a life!!

  21. You people commenting negatively towards this woman’s body are way out of line.

    Look up concern trolling.

    Fat is an organ which expands for unknown reasons, but it is known that people of above average weight live longer than those of average weights and those underweight. Maybe you should actually study this subject before spouting off stigmatising dogma to boost your self esteem.

    BTW I used to have anorexia, and let me tell you, if you started concern trolling me for being too skinny and judging me for my poor choice to not eat, I’d think you were completely ignorant of how anorexia works, and as equas atlly rude as you were to this person.

    Please do not make personal remarks. Our weight is none of your business.

  22. Mine Too

    Mine looks like this too. I feel less alone seeing it. Thanks.

  23. Amanda B.

    Why is everyone worried that fat people don’t know they’re fat? Are you an idiot? Every person who is even five pounds overweight knows that they are. Society tells them every day of their lives, the mirror tells them, the scale tells them, their clothes tell them. They also know it’s not healthy. No one needs you to pretend to care about their health. What they do need is support. They need to be able to see that they are not alone. They need to feel that they aren’t any less worthy on the inside because of their outside. Let them worry about their own health, and you worry about yours.

  24. Sarah

    Reading all of these differing opinions has been very insightful. On one hand, society needs to stop dictating what is and what isn’t beautiful. Everyone is special in their own way, and the impossible standards of beauty that society places on everyone are insurmountably unhealthy. On the other hand, if you put yourself out there, you need to expect some degree of criticism. It’s not as if James is making negative comments (not that he said anything disrespectful; he was very polite in stating his opinion) to a stranger who happens to be walking by. This person chose to put their picture up, and regardless of if you agree with his opinion or not, it does warrant some level of scrutiny. We all should learn to love ourselves, but part of loving yourself includes making lifestyle changes if you are unhealthy. There are obviously certain medical diseases that causes one’s weight to fluctuate, but the majority of weight gain in people is caused by poor lifestyle choices and a combined lack of exercise. No one should be insulted or tormented about their weight or their looks, and no one should ever feel like less of an important human being for being heavy- but we need to stop pretending that it’s a healthy decision. Obesity is unhealthy. This is indisputable, and has been proven numerous times by science. Encouraging obesity is tantamount to encouraging alcoholism. Would you encourage a chronic alcoholic to continue drinking excessively because it makes them happy? Encouraging healthy lifestyles and being helpful about it don’t have to be mutually exclusive ideas. We can be positive and kind in helping people choose to make better lifestyle choices if they wish.

    To Kmwiebe: The average weight for Japanese women: 43kg at 159cm. The average weight for Japanese men: 62kg at 171cm. There was a recent study conducted to provide countries with information pertaining to the average weight of their citizens in comparison to people of other nations. Japanese people are considered “underweight” by world statistics, yet they are one of the healthiest countries in the world, with one of the highest life expectancy rates.

  25. Irene

    Thank you for sharing what many real bellies look like. You probably knew you would get comments that would seek to try to get you to change. But that is what a real belly looks like on many people, so it is truth. Thanks.

  26. Dee

    This is my belly too but I have had 10 pregnancies and 5 live births 1 stillborn and 4 miscarriages and I am 50 goes to show from one age to another we can be the same.

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